The Eyes of the Ice

(2010/10/23)

The Eyes of the Ice

Last Year in National Taiwan University Hospital Bei-Hu Branch

I was a volunteer last year in Bei-Hu Branch. It was a small hospital specialized in caring for the elders. I went there to accompany with the hospital residents on Saturday morning. If the weather was warm and pleasant, the volunteers would push the wheelchairs carrying each patient out of the crowded and narrow hospital. The patients then could lie comfortably under the sun shine. There would also be dogs there cheering up and playing with elders.

The first day I was asked to be with an old paralyzed man nicknamed ‘Ice Mountain’. He seemed a little dizzy with his eyes closed most of the time. Nothing seemed to attract his attention even a naughty furry dog dancing on his thigh. Sometimes when he yawned, saliva outflew. I quickly picked up a towel and carefully covered the corner of his mouth. The moment I touched his face, he suddenly opened his eyes widely looking at me, as if they were trying to penetrate my soul. I kept wiping out the water on his cheek, and he closed his eyes again.

I told the social worker, our conductor, that I was curious about the past of the old man and hope that the next time I could bring something that can grab his attention. The leader told me that the ‘ice mountain’ had been a medical professor in ophthalmology. When being at such an honorable position, he suddenly had a stroke which caused him paralyzed till now. What surprised me was that ‘ice mountain’, though seemed to be as cold as ice to all his surroundings, when came across to something he was interested in, like a foreigner, would change his attitude largely.

The last day being a volunteer in the hospital, I particularly pay attention on ‘ice mountain’ who was resting in the corner and with his eyes closed as usual. Everyone all thought that he might have been too tired and was now sleeping, so no one stood beside him. However, when time was up and we were about to left, I hesitated, willing to capture the last sight of all the elders I have chatted with. When I turned around, there I saw ‘ice mountain’ with his eyes wide open, staring at us. He was the only patient looking at us at that moment. I wonder what he was telling through his eyes.

                                         David Chen  2011/4/25

*Afternote: many years later, our fellowship in NTU medical campus invited the ophthalmologist's son to share his testimony. He told us about how he rebelled against his father and returned to God in the end. It was that moment that I finally knew the professor's name, Dr. Ko Liang Shi.

Ready for

(2011/12/27)

Ready for

   Last Thursday, when the class was over, I quickly rushed back to the dorm, picked up my viola and rode to the MRT station. I had promised to join a quartet in the interim performance arranged by the orchestra in medical campus, and now I was going to practice the ensemble with other three partners. Time flew as I was waiting for trains in the station. Frequently darting looks at my watch, the closer I was to the medical campus, the more nervous I was. When I finally raced to the amphitheater we were to practice at, I was already late for ten minutes.

   Luckily, I wasn’t the last. Only first and second violins were on time. After we start practicing Hayden’s emperor symphony, all the anxiety left me. We began with the second movement, where notes seemed unrelated were indeed woven into a beautiful piece of music. Like a vast night sky extended over me, decorated with brilliant stars, and from time to time meteors flied across them. Following the second movement, we practiced the third movement and went back to the first movement, where lively notes were expressed through size of the sound and beat. In the end, we tried a little bit of the last movement, and it seemed that I was the least familiar to the forth movement. I had better practice more after the oncoming midterm exams.

   When the practice ended, I quickly put my viola into the case and hurried back to the dorm. The moment I left the amphitheater, second violin, the former general director of the orchestra, suddenly called on me. He asked me whether I have the willingness to be the next general director. I was quite scared at first. I had no idea how to reply, yet being the only first grader major in medicine in the orchestra, I knew some time or so I would be asked similar questions. Aware that I was afraid to give him a certain reply, he continued and guaranteed that the current director and himself would help me throughout all the affairs.

At that very moment my mind was still in a blank, without a second thought, I simply answered, “yes.” When I heard what flowed out of my mouth, I regretted. I shouldn’t have taken such a hard task too lightly. I wasn’t even prepared to become a leader of an orchestra. How could I manage to be a good director? “Choose me if you really cannot find anyone else suitable.” I quickly added. “You are the only first grader major in medicine.” He replied.

“How about I ask for some of my classmates to join now?” I asked. “You know. I couldn’t let them become the general director. They aren’t familiar with the orchestra.” He answered seriously. “OK, I know.” a little embarrassed, I quickly left the theater and hurried to the MRT station. On the way back to the dorm, I kept asking myself what happened to me to ask such a stupid question. I found out that I might have been too afraid to take up the task, which caused me to burst out funny words.

I must admit that throughout my life, I was always afraid to face challenges, especially one that was along with responsibility. I often told myself that I wasn’t ready for a new challenge; as a result, I lost lots of chances to train myself.

I know that once I made a promise, I must do anything I could to fulfill it. Therefore, I take promises seriously. However, sometimes I took them too seriously that no promises were made. If I keep such attitude toward all challenges in my life, I could predict that I will feel less and less confident in myself and in the end I will lose all the relationships with others.

I should not be always unprepared; in fact, I must start telling myself, “I am ready for the challenge.” Hope the next time when I met the second violin, I could ask him bravely, “What shall I prepare to be a good general director?”

                                           David Chen 4/17/2011

*Afternote: I was then chosen as the leader of HLCO for 1 year. I kept participating in the campus orchestra till sixth grade in medical school (-2016). After that, I joined the music group of our hospital (2018-).